Worst time in a long time!

AGHHHGHGHGHGHGHHHHH! I fell better now. This has been one of the worst few weeks of my adult life!! First one of my good friends gets stabbed through the temple with a screwdriver–is in a deep coma and not expected to live. Then one of my friends from high school is in a roll over crash and is killed. Then a few days after that my great Aunt Ruth died. She was one of my favorite and most animated aunts! That’s just the last weekend of May. I had to go to Libby to be with friends and family for 3 different people.

 I get back and my I’m studying for my biology test and Monkey and Hootie start fighting over a bag of dog bones. Monkey has gotten really bad food aggression the last few months and we have no idea why! Monkey had Hootie by the neck and wouldn’t let up, my mom had Monkey and I had Hootie and we tried for over 5 mins to get them apart. Hootie had stopped but Monkey kept on going. My whole body was shaking and exhausted from trying to pull them apart. They were both hurt really bad and were both so bloody. GAHHH! In the process my mom got her hand in between them and just about got her hand ripped off. It was so bloody and man I just felt like puking.

 After the fun of the hospital and vet (won’t go into detail there, since it took forever) I had to take Monkey back to Libby so she can stay with my brother so that we can figure out to do.

Just knowing that I’ll never be able to see my friend Ryan or my Aunt Ruth again just hurts so bad. And knowing that if my friend Jason does live it’s pretty likely he’ll be a vegetable or severly limited in brain activity. It just seems like bad things come in multiples anytime anything happens. One person just can’t die at a time, or one disaster , there’s always so much to where you think you’re going to break having to hold the weight of it all on your shoulders and heart. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear from it all.

 I’ve felt like total shit for the last week and a half, and I just can’t get out from under this rock. The commercial I’ve been working on is not coming together the way I had planned initially. But having so much other shit to deal with really makes it hard to focus at work. And why is it when I hate what I’m creating others seem to love it? They love it and I think it’s lacking but I don’t know just what is lacking! I’ve rambled enough. If none of my sentences make sense it’s probably because I’ve been a sleep deprived zombie this last week and a half.

Yessss!

I am sooooo happy! I’m finally getting a new computer. It’s all ordered and should be here by late next week. I’ll update with the specs when I get them, I can’t remember off the top of my head. I do know it’s a duel core and has 2 gigs or RAM. That sure beats the 2 512’s I have right now! The computer I have was originally built by Ryan about 6 years ago, with many upgrades along the way. The last thing we replaced was the motherboard about a year and a half or 2 years ago, so it’s a dinosauer by most people’s standards. I made sure that it has an awesome graphics card too wooohoooo!

 Also, Judy got her stitches out and is doing really good. Her and Poopy are back to playing all day again.

*shouts AMEN from the rooftops*

I’m sooooo happy that the semester is overrrr! I know my final grades in all classes and I’m VERY pleased with them! On another note, I’m a sick pile of sickyness. I woke up at 6 on Friday morning and was riding into town with Ryan for my final–I was putting on my makeup and I noticed something somewhat off about my eye. I lifted up my lid and to my HORROR I had a huge pocket of blood through the whole top and onto the left side of my eye. My exact words were…What.The.FUCK!

I took my final, and then went to the eye doctor. Turns out I had a bruise on my eyeball and a ruptured blood vessle. Fun times! It doesn’t hurt but I look like some sort of vampire reject from a terrible B movie that never even made it to video. It’s gotten MUCH better in the days since, but it still looks completely NOT normal. As if that wasn’t bad enough I have the worst sore throat–a stuffed nose and a terrible cold. I feel like my head is stuck in a vice and someone keeps turning it tighter. And as if THAT wasn’t bad enough I spent most of the night and this morning puking my guts out.

But I won’t let all of that fun get me down. I am bound determined to not only load my game, but actually play my legacy and get a chapter out. It’s been almost 4 months since I’ve had a new chapter out, and the 2 fans that I have somewhere out there somewhere are probably pretty mad at me for it hahaha! I’ll stop bitching and see if there’s anything on TV.

My poor Hootie!

I was about to start on my final project for my motion design class last night when I got a beyond frantic call from my mom. She said that Livy and Judy had gotten in a fight and Judy was ripped open in at least 5 different places! Why must you scare me like that! I live about 45 minutes from her house depending on traffic and I was beside myself. She needed me to come in because she STILL doesn’t know her way around Missoula and she’s lived here for almost 4 years. So Ryan and I got in the car and headed out there.

I got there and she tried to get up but where her leg bends up by her body was totally ripped open on the left front side. She saw me walk in and started wagging her tail which was also hurt, and then stopped because she was in too much pain. Judy loves me most because I’m the one who rescued her from the pound and she’s “my dog”, ha try telling that to my mom . Anyhow, we rushed her down to the 24 hour Animmal Emergency and took her in. The vet came in and said they’d have to put her out so that they could stitch up her gaping neck wonods and the ones on her tail and the worst one on her leg.

 We had to leave her so we went to Denny’s and I got a chef salad and an Oreo blender blaster, great combo huh? Then we went to Super Walmart to waste time instead of going all the way out to my mom’s to wait. They called us about midnight and told us we could go in and get her. When we walked in we heard this god awful bawling. My poor Judy. The second her brought her out she quit. she had just come out of the anesthesia about 20 minutes before that and was really disoriented.

When we brought her home, Livy was locked in the bathroom away from her and Lady and Pixie were curious to see what had happened to her. Pixie and Judy are best friends and Lady is a close second to each of them. So we brough Judy into a spare bedroom and I set her up so that she was laying on one side with her hurt leg propped up. They put a drain tube in it so that the fluid that built up could drain. she was almost asleep when my mom came in and not realizing it had Livy on her heels. Livy didn’t want to hurt her, but she’s a very in your face dog and Judy was still scared about earlier. Plus Livy is about 116 pounds whereas Judy is only 64. So Judy hopped up and got all freaked out. I finally got her back down and was getting tired since it was about 2 am. I said I was going to go, so my mom went in and layed with her.

 I was visiting the other dogs for a minute when I heard my mom yelling for me. I went in and Judy was crying. She saw me and stopped. So I layed with her for a minute and waited till she fell asleep again. I left the room again and within minutes my mom was yelling for me again. Judy wasn’t going to stop unless I stayed. So I stayed the night.

The next morning she woke up and was ready to play and go about her life as normal, which the vet advised against since she had stitches all over and needed to stay off of her leg. She’d run not walk from room to room and wanted to go outside without her leash which wasn’t allowed since she’d run on her leg. The vet said the night before that if she didn’t stay off of it she could end up ripping the stitches and really hurting herself since the ones on her leg are in a hard spot to keep from tearing. They said we could come and get sedatives for her so that she’d be less active during the first few days to let things heal a bit. So to make a long story short haha it’s already too long–she got back home and is her room sleeping. My mom said she was whining for me for a bit before she fell asleep. I just hope she can get over these first few days and feel better, all of those stitches have got to hurt!

And if anyone was wondering, the vet bill came to $457.48! Yikes!!

Why I love Sims and Editing Sim pics.

I was really thinking today about just how much I love taking pics of my sims and frankensteining them into a vision in my mind. I think it all stems from being a little girl and dressing up my Barbies and other dolls. I used to spend hours just brushing all of their hair, washing them up and sewing clothes for them. I had just as much fun doing this as I did brewing up steamy plots and figuring out which Barbie wasn’t getting a date to her prom. My Barbies and dolls lead very scandalous lives believe me. I don’t even know how I knew what most of that stuff was since I didn’t know of it in real life. I didn’t have much as a kid, maybe that’s why I wanted to go to Grandma’s all the time and root through her material and sew clothes for my poor unfortunate little dollies!

 Yep. I’m convinced this is why I insist on still “playing” the Sims even though I haven’t even PLAYED the game since January when I was still writing stories for my Legacy family. Which reminds me I’ve been neglecting those poor little guys for too many months!

As for a real update, today was the last official day of school for the semester…yesssssssssssssssssss. Now I have finals week next week to look forward to and then summer school gahhhh!

Silly Sally Sad Pants Indeed! Kiwi to the rescue!

Okay, I was in my 3D motion design class today and it was a work day. Guess who forgot their hard drive? That’s right I did! So I had nothing to work on. I figured I’d do something at least somewhat relevant to the class so I was searching around the Vancouver Film School stuff on Youtube and saw a video in the list called Kiwi. The thumbnail looked cool so I clicked. I’ll never be the same.

 I bawled my face off 4 times today watching it. That little video touched a part of me deep inside! I haven’t felt this way about an animation EVER! It’s crazy how one little kiwi bird can stir up emotions in you. If you haven’t seen little Kiwi realize his dream, you really should. It is so sad, but wow, I can’t even explain it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs

 I wish I knew how to embed the video in this post!

Happy Birthday to me!!

I remember a time not so far back that having a birthday was something fun and that I looked forward to. Now every year that April rolls around I get physically sick. To know that I’m another year older and I’m still at this “place” in my life. I guess you could consider this one of my first rantish entries. It’s crazy, as it turned midnight, my birthday, what did I do? I started bawling. I was watching Van Wilder The Rise of Taj. Ryan was sleeping next to me and I just felt…I dunno, old? I guess I could contribute it to the fact that my period is in town, oh joyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

 I looked back a few blog entries today at my It’s About Time entry from March 10th. I wish I could feel like that right now. I mean I am still thankful for everything that I have/have accomplished, but I just feel sooo stuck. I feel like I’ve been treading water and not getting anywhere with my life. I made the decision to go back to school, and I don’t regret that one bit, but it’s sort of put my life on hold in a way. I’m just stuck–I know I’ve already said that. I think I need to get away from here for awhile. I’m planning on going to Libby on May 11th for a weekend. I think I need it.

I really don’t know what else to say, so I’m going to go pout about nothing for a bit, I’m sure this feeling will go away, I don’t even know why I felt the need to blog it out, but I think it helps. Ohhh, and on a good note, I’ve been listening to this band lately called Sick Puppies. Weird name, lol, but I loveeeeeeeeeee their song It’s All the Same!!! I heard them on Leno about a month ago and I’ve been listening to them constantly since. Anyhoo…night.

Busy week ya’ll!

I just got back into town not too long ago. I went “home” this weekend. Clothes shopping is something I desperately need to do. I’ve lost about 15 pounds in the last month and a half and none of my clothes fit any more! I guess that’s the price I have to pay for getting back in shape.

I bought seasons the week after it came out and have yet to install it because this computer is already on it’s last leg and I tried running a back up on all of my files ( I won’t install unless I’m sure I have a perfect back up) but the damn thing keeps timing out. I guess that’s what I get for having a 15 gig EA Games folder. X_X, but I still want to get Celebration Stuff!

I am wayyyyyyyyyyyyy over my head with all of the things I have due this week. 3 Sim contest things, and 2 projects that are pretty much going to determine my grades in 2 of my classes. My head is spinning wondering how I’m going to get it all done too. I had to ask Lisha for an extension on Perfect Match because unless I can go days in a row without sleep there’s no way I’d be able to get everything I have to get done, DONE! I have it written, but I’m sure like always I wrote way too much. I read it to my sister and she had tears in her eyes at the end. So I hope that’s a good sign considering she’s not a very emotional person.

 As luck would have it I have my idea for HNTM round 1. I was really overwhelmed coming home to see that not only was round 1 posted, but there were already 30 pages of replies! I’m going out of my mind right now! I hardly have time to work on this since it’s due the 14th and I have so many other things to get done, but this is a LOT of fun and really important to me, so I will take the time out to get it done, even if I have to put my school work on the back burner…again. HAHA.

Without fail it’s April and I’ve found myself again!

It seems that I sort of lose grasp on who I am toward the end of the year through the beginning of the next. I hate that “Who am I now?” feeling that I get every time I think of the past. How much I’ve been through, what I’ve accomplished. People I’ve loved and lost. I get pretty depressed between January and March. But come April I become myself again. I want to go out with friends and be out doing things that I love. Quite ironically I get depressed each year when my birthday rolls around because it’s just another reminder that I’m getting older(my birthday is April 28th).

I love this time of year. Not because of the weather so much, but because of the feeling floating the breeze. The way I feel when I go out and see my friends, the way I feel in the loop again. I used to hate staying inside in front of the TV/computer and it seems that’s what I do most of the time now! It’s not easy to get away from the computer because

Why do I do this?!

I really need to get it in gear! I have things piling up and I’m about to drown. Why is it that I always put things off till the last possible second? I know it would be easier to work on something spread out over a week than to cram it all into an afternoon–yet I do it anyhow! I have the “there’s always tomorrow” attitude and it’s kicking my butt! I used to tell myself that I work better under pressure and in fact I do, but it’s really stressful to do this every time I have a huge project due. It’s not like I’m ever late, I’m just right at the deadline most times.

We’ve been doing some really neat stuff in our 3D still image class.